Home groups are the backbone of Christian fellowship.  They give a safe atmosphere to share deep, long ago wounds or to vent the stress of the week.  Ideally one finds acceptance, compassion and healing.  Watch for these telltale signs your leader might have issues:

Each week you meet in a different “secret” location.

The leader feels the devil is not so bad as he is “just misunderstood.”

He greets all new members the same, “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”

His teachings are from the Book of Mormon.

He closes all his prayers with, “Simon says, amen.”

His “name it and claim it” faith teachings include picking a different item out of the Sears catalog every week.

He asks everyone in the group to fast for Billy Graham’s salvation.

He performs the Lord’s Supper with cinnamon Graham Crackers and grape jam.

He asks the group, “Did anyone’s hand offend them this week?” as he flips a knife in the air.

The nursery is in the basement and kids make phone calls to sell penny stocks.

He eliminates worship in favor of a rousing game of Bible Charades.

Pasted his photo over one of the disciple’s faces in his Last Supper Picture.

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1 Comment

  1. Mary Brown

    Where in the world you you come up with this stuff Jackie. Honestly girl….these are sooo clever and hilarious!

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